Chapter Text
There is a kind of magic that comes with singing that you can only ever get on stage, and Zeri Velasquez thrived off of it. It didn't matter if it was just her and her best friend singing to a room of barely 20 people; the glow was still there, and she was high as hell on it. They played Groan , a song she and Jinx composed together in their very loud, very messy dorm bedroom instead of studying for finals, a song about a young, miserable girl who craves affection from older men. It's bold, and Zeri's singing style emphasizes that as she accentuates the end of each line with a note of desperation—but also of want.
The duo met in their first year at Valoran University in Boston. Assigned roommates through bureaucracy and a little bit of fate, there was never really a "getting to know you" phase with them, almost as if in some way they already did. They both liked programming, they both liked music, and they were both weird as f*ck—there didn't seem to be anything else worth knowing.
Zeri, unlike Jinx, entered college with something to prove. She is the youngest daughter of Maria and Dakila Velasquez, both immigrants from a small village that came to the US to give a better life to their children while still holding on to their culture and tradition. Except, in this case, tradition meant that Zeri's three older brothers came first. Always.
Throughout her childhood, she consistently got the short end of the stick. They all helped around the house. Gabriel, Jacob, and Angelo had errands to run too, but never as many as Zeri did, and never as gendered either. If Zeri had something to say, she'd have to yell twice as loud—and whatever that was, it better be important.
She loved the Philippines with all her heart, and she was proud of her heritage but never managed to understand how their parents could've left their country and their village behind but not its misogyny; how they had traveled all this way for their children while also not being able to listen to one of them.
Zeri wasn't going to stay quiet, but she knew there was also no changing how her parents—and especially her mother—viewed her. Throughout all her 22 years of life, she tried to convince them that what they were doing was outdated. She tried yelling, she tried reasoning, she tried bargaining, but nothing ever seemed enough. Zeri once even considered running away to scare them, just for a day or two, but could not make herself commit to it.
So when Zeri decided she wanted to pursue higher education, her announcement was instantly met with backlash, so very unlike when her eldest brother declared he wanted the same thing. Zeri thinks she's never been as angry as she was that day, but then again, that anger never dissipated, just following wherever she went.
They ultimately helped her pay for it and continue to do so, is the thing—but only because her brothers insisted. " Ama , the tech field gives lots of money! She will pay back!" Gabriel offered, while Jacob stated how many computer scientists were wealthy, affirming she would " find a rich man to marry, Ina!"
And slowly but surely, it worked. She knew her brothers didn't actually feel the things they said or agreed with the motives they argued for, which only confused Zeri when her heart hurt all the same. At the end of the day, she got what she wanted. All at the cost of her pride.
So, up on the stage and with a guitar in hand, she freed that rage, that fury that never really went away, and sang her heart out in hopes someone would listen, but also with love, because standing at her side was the living-proof that she could be worth listening to.
Won't you come around in your car in the middle of the night again?
I've got a thundering storm cloud hanging low above my head again
And if I lied about my age, is it fine? Would you mind?
Sorry, we can blame it on that I'm
Young, naive, and really miserable
And yeah, I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah, I wanna feel a beating, bleeding heart, don't you?
Because I've never really known
But I pinky promise you I'm grown
And I wanna know what it feels like, ah~
Zeri's groan at the end of the chorus is what named the song, a mixture of a bark and a moan that accentuates the song progression. The thin crowd enjoys the music, but mostly they seem interested in anything else besides it. A few people bob their heads, some cheers erupt, but a lot of them just try to talk through it, a couple leaving right before the beginning of the second verse. Zeri is insanely annoyed.
You see, talking wouldn't be much of a problem if this was a proper stage with a proper setup from where she can sing and actually be heard. But this was not it. This was a small, hastily put together party, full of people they didn't know, but presumably other Valoran students—all incredibly wasted and just as bored.
Her fingers stop strumming the guitar and she looks around—aside from a few confused expressions, no one really notices it or seems to care. All that magic, all the glory from just a few minutes ago vanishes, leaving her chest hollow announcing the very imminent truth that she was getting off of her stage high.
"Well, this sucks," She mutters to Jinx, not really afraid of being heard through the microphone since they weren't provided with one.
Jinx stops playing right after her, a puzzled but ultimately unbothered look on her face. She looks at the crowd, which can barely be called that at this point, and then at Zeri again.
"Did you drink? Can you drive?" Zeri asks
"Nope, and yes," Jinx smiles. "Wanna head out?"
"Please, God– don't make me admit defeat any more than I'm already doing."
"Come on, Sparks," Jinx calls as she grabs the bass, "You can whine later"
"They weren't even listening!"
"To be fair, I don't think it was an us problem."
Zeri sat on her mattress, the lower half of the bunk bed they shared, while Jinx unbraided her long blue hair next to her. It had become comforting, seeing Jinx undo her braids, signaling the day was over and that whatever they encountered tomorrow, they would most likely encounter together.
"I dunno… It's just– It sucked, man."
In front of them sits Jinx's laptop, the latest video by Hextech Bros already halfway through, "The End of Jr Engineers"—ironically, neither paid much attention to it, but both enjoyed background noise, be it music, or videos, or each other's voices.
Jinx glances at Zeri, who pouts, and finds herself smiling empathetically.
"Sometimes it's gonna suck, I know that. I– I was just very excited to play, I thought people were gonna be excited to hear" She confesses, her gaze low.
Jinx turns slightly to face her while still working on her hair. "Zeri, the day we find someone as excited about playing as you are, we'll have to kill the guy!"
"You idiot, you know what I mean!" Zeri reluctantly accepts the little grin that emerges under her furrowed brow while Jinx laughs.
"No, I mean it! Have you seen the way you play? It's downright p*rnographic!"
"What are you even saying?" Zeri shoves Jinx to the side, her giggles brighter, no pout to be seen, as Jinx continues to defend her point.
"It's like– it's like you're fingering the guitar. You're like a frat dude!"
The sound of their laughter fills the room and slowly leaves as the girls catch their breaths.
"Thanks…" Zeri says, a timid but ultimately grateful expression on her face.
"It's gonna work out, Sparks. Trust me." Jinx, hair now completely undone, places a hand on Zeri's shoulder. "We just need to find other loud folks."
The words linger in Zeri's ears throughout the rest of the night as both get ready to rest.
"Good night, man," Zeri says as Jinx climbs the unstable ladder to her mattress above.
"Don't let the bed bugs bite you," Jinx replies.
